‘Who am I?’ is a question each seeker need to ask and contemplate upon. Answers to some such questions have such far-reaching implications, they fundamentally change the way we live and, consequently, the world around us. With incisive analysis and methodical reasoning, Swami Swaroopananda pulls back the layers to reveal, in the simplest terms possible, the amazing reality at the heart of our existence and the corresponding potential this holds out to each and every one of us, in the book ‘Who/What am I’.
Sri Ramana Maharshi’s Experiment
The passing of a family member produced a curious fear of death within the great sage Sri Ramana Maharshi. He decided to conquer that fear directly… by facing death, as it were.
In his mind, he very carefully conjured up the ‘conditions’ of death. What does a dead man do? He does not move, he does not breathe, he does not see and he does not feel. So the eminent sage shut all his senses and held his breath. He suddenly discovered that beyond the body, beyond the breath, he, the Knower — of both the body and breath — still existed.
This incredible experiment led him to recognise that though he had not gained the Absolute, he had developed complete dispassion towards his body. From then onwards, he remained totally unaffected by all the painful conditions his body endured.
If we could create a scenario like the sage did, if we could observe ourselves, we would clearly and directly see that we exist beyond the body and breath.
Am ‘I’ the Senses?
After observing the body and its breathing process, we reach the world of sense perception.
Since we are seeing, hearing, smelling and tasting through the senses, we attribute Life, or the Life Principle, to them. Yet, a blind person exists; a deaf person exists; even a person in a coma definitely exists (as many eventually come around and recover and go on to lead active lives). For that matter, are we ourselves not able to see a wonderful world full of light, colour, movement and sound… in our dreams, with our eyes shut? Thus the Life in us logically cannot be dependent on our senses.
Who is the Seer, then?
Am ‘I’ the Mind?
With a little reflection, all of the above is easily understood. Nevertheless, we continue to see ourselves as conscious and thinking individuals. When we look within, we see a personality made up of feelings and thoughts. A flow of thoughts, a feeling or even a state of confusion, is generally known as the mind; when it is judging, analysing, enquiring, knowing or discriminating, it is called the intellect. When it is remembering, it is known as memory.
In between, there is the constant ‘I’ thought – I am so-and-so, I am doing this, I am happy, I am miserable, and so on. This ‘I’ thought, linked with any other notion, is called the ego.
However, do I not exist without thinking? Rene Descartes, the famous French philosopher and mathematician, propounded the idea, ‘I think, therefore I am.’ On the other hand, the momentous discovery of all spiritual Masters has been, ‘I am, therefore I think.’
Would you say that you are nothing without thinking? Even without having anything front and centre of your mind, in your quietest, perhaps most ‘spaced out’ moments, or when in that twilight zone where you are actually aware you are falling asleep in front of the TV, do you not exist?
The mind, a relentless flow of thoughts, is also constantly changing. Are we not watching this incessant flow? We are often painfully aware of the moods of the mind. Even while reading this, you know the state of your mind – whether you comprehend the logic or are somewhat confused! The Knower is different from that which is known. This fact has to be discovered within ourselves.
Sometimes, without the right knowledge, we imagine fanciful experiences during meditation. We await these experiences. We see red, blue or white light and start believing, ‘The Self is light.’ All these are actually just different prompts cited in various religions or meditation seminars, to aid and promote a greater level of contemplation.
Reference: Who/ What Am I by Swami Swaroopananda